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Al Duvall - The Statue Of Virtue Lyrics

I black up with my grandpappy's ashes
And the wires in my mouth make me grin
And I wave as a riverboat crashes
There's a crowd, now the show can begin
They're drawn in to listen to me, boy
I'm like a whirlpool whistlin' a tune
And my heart's singin' out as a decoy
I just pick off the gals when they swoon

If there's one thing I hate--well, it's two things
Better make it five million or ten
It's the way folks in Washington do things
And the dopes who elect them again
Oh, that dumb one, can't someone defeat him
Or will I have to do it myself?
Tell me, where's Mr. Booth when you need him?
That's a shrine to him there on my shelf

I've been crushed by the statue of virtue
I've been shot through a barrel and drowned
They say what you don't know doesn't hurt you
Guess I must be the smartest around

I've been trampin' from Turkey to Hungary
With some wampum in company scrip
When a punk snatched it out from my dungaree
Boys, I bloodied his fist with my lip
Still, I'm prone 'neath the stars with my brothers
For the YMCA is too small
Where you flop in a bed with four others
Then it folds back up into the walls
I was born when my mom was out boozing
When she came home and found me, she cried
"What a fond precious memory I'm losing!"
Then she wrassled me back up inside
Oh I've gambled the house, and land under it
And I gambled my wages of sin
And I bet you another four-hundred
That I never will gamble again

I've been crushed by the statue of virtue
I've been shot through a barrel and drowned
They say what you don't know doesn't hurt you
Guess I must be the smartest around
I've been crushed by the statue of virtue
I've been shot through a barrel and drowned
They say what you don't know doesn't hurt you
Guess I must be the smartest around