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Al Duvall - Crouching In The Thicket Lyrics

The Temperance Union is fighting dissipation
With a lecture on the evils of excessive moderation
The preacher earns his liquor with a counterfeit bible
Staring down the devil with an elongated eyeball

The future of the nation is hanging by a kitestring
Spare the rod and you spoil the lightning
Too poor to pay a visit, too proud to beg to differ
Crouching in the thicket with a flapper and a sniffer

The abortionist’s mistress sits listless in the mattress
Tatting on a pattern for a little kitty-cat dress
The virgins of the brothel are worth their weight in diamonds
The surgeon’s at their service with formaldehyded hymens

The syphilitic wet nurse gets a little luncheon
Sending eggy soldiers to a pestilential dungeon
Too poor to pay a visit, too proud to beg to differ
Crouching in the thicket with a flapper and a sniffer

My new position isn’t a stoke of luck exactly
I operate the chopper at the rabbit’s foot factory
Old mustard-gas Cupid puts nurses by the sickbeds
But the shell-shocked soldiers can’t get it through their thick heads

And all around the fringes and the outskirts and the borders
The rascals have the dollars and the servants have the quarters
Too poor to pay a visit, too proud to beg to differ
Crouching in the thicket with a flapper and a sniffer