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Al Duvall - When I Played The Dane In Des Moines Lyrics

They say if you want to make Hamlet
You’ve got to break a few legs
Now recall how a bit of a jam let
Our troupe descend into the dregs
We were booked to play the Lusitania
It’s a shame how that deal went down
So alas, we left York, Pennsylvania
On the freight trains out West, town to town
By the end I was bitter and jaded
Looking for a Chautauqua to join
After I was disgraced and degraded
When I played the Dane in Des Moines

We presented the Bard ‘cross the nation
To the stockyards we brought summer stock
We had heard of Des Moines’ cultivation
When we found that meant corn- what a shock!
In the round at a wrestling venue
Some egged us on, more egged us off
We were served every dish on the menu
From the buffet set up in a trough
I cried “I’ll surrender when pigs fly!”
Then somebody tossed a pork loin
Soon the castle resembled a pigsty
When I played the Dane in Des Moines
The sword fight took place in a hog pen
Some wag barred the gate with a board
We couldn’t reach the epilog when
The pen had more might than the sword
Then the crowd started dozing and nodding
And snoring rang out loud and clear
But they rose up and started applauding
When the man came with peanuts and beer
If you think we got paid, you’re mistaken
Though Ophelia was showered with coin
For she told them the play was by Bacon
When I played the Dane in Des Moines