When she fell, she fell apart
Cracked her bones on the pavement she once decorated
As a child with sidewalk chalk
When she crashed, her clothes disintegrated and blew away
With the winds that took all of her fair-weather friends
When she looked around, her skin was spattered with ink
Forming the words of a thousand voices
Echoes she heard even in hеr sleep:
"Whatever you say, it is not right."
"Whatevеr you do, it is not enough."
"Your kindness is fake."
"Your pain is manipulative."
When she lay there on the ground
She dreamed of time machines and revenge
And a love that was really something
Not just the idea of something
When she finally rose, she rose slowly
Avoiding old haunts and sidestepping shiny pennies
Wary of phone calls and promises
Charmers, dandies and get-love-quick-schemes
When she stood, she stood with a desolate knowingness
Waded out into the dark, wild ocean up to her neck
Bathed in her brokenness
Said a prayer of gratitude for each chink in the armor
She never knew she needed
Standing broad-shouldered next to her
Was a love that was really something
Not just the idea of something
When she turned to go home
She heard the echoes of new words
"May your heart remain breakable
But never by the same hand twice"
And even louder:
"without your past
You could never have arrived-
So wondrously and brutally
By design or some violent, exquisite happenstance
...here."
And in the death of her reputation
She felt truly alive