[Verse 1]
Drowning in the Blue Nile, he sent me "Downtown Lights"
I hadn't heard it in a while
My boredom's bone-deep, this cage was once just fine
Am I allowed to cry?
[Pre-Chorus]
I dream of cracking locks, throwing my life to the wolves
Or the ocean rocks, crashin' into him tonight
He's a paradox, I'm seeing visions
Am I bad, or mad, or wise?
[Chorus]
What if he's written "Mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?
One slip and falling back into the hedge-maze
Oh, what a way to die
I keep recalling things we never did
Messy top-lip kiss, how I long for our trysts
Without ever touching his skin, how can I be guilty as sin?
[Verse 2]
I keep these longings locked
In lowercase inside a vault
Someone told me "There's no such thing as bad thoughts
Only your actions talk"
[Pre-Chorus]
These fatal fantasies, giving way to labored breath
Taking all of me, we've already done it in my head
If it's make-believe, why does it feel like a vow
We'll both uphold somehow?
[Chorus]
What if he's written "Mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?
One slip and falling back into the hedge-maze
Oh, what a way to die
My bedsheets are ablaze, I screamed his name
Building up like waves, crashing over my grave
Without ever touching his skin, how can I be guilty as sin?
[Instrumental Break]
[Bridge]
What if I roll the stone away?
They're gonna crucify me away
What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?
If long suffering propriety is what they want from me
They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly
I choose you and me
Religiously
[Chorus]
What if he's written "Mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?
One slip and falling back into the hedge-maze
Oh, what a way to die
I keep recalling things we never did
Messy top-lip kiss, how I long for our trysts
Without ever touching his skin, how can I be guilty as sin?
[Outro]
He sent me "Downtown Lights"
I hadn't heard it in a while
Am I allowed to cry?