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Epic Rap Battles Of History - Thanos Vs J Robert Lyrics

I am inevitable, immeasurable
inexorable, monstrous
With bars weighing on you
harder than your haunting guilty conscience
I am Thanos and I crush tracks
like Tesseracts in my palm
you're a pencil-pushing Terran
who never learned to love his bomb

Seems you started off a chemist
and on your world you were a prodigy
Well, that makes sense
because your rhymes are only hot periodically
Man, I burned the Avengers down to Embers
Sent half your planet to be slaughtered
And now I'm offing Oppenheimer
like I did to my daughter

Got a fist of gold when I'm rapping
Six Infinity Gems what I'm packing
Stick your tiny nuclear dick back
Into your pants, Dr. Manhattan

Hadron smashing all your atoms
Best not collide with me when I'm rhyming
'Cause you break and bleed so easy
I think I'll call you Oppen-hymen

It's impossible to top me, Oppie
You just don't have the stones
Apparently the only thing
You're good at wrecking is a home

'Cause you slept with your friend's wife
Right there in your friend's bed
Then got another married girl pregnant
You should've gone for the head

Listening to you took everything I have left
After your raps, I am become deaf
You need an Iron-Man, for that wrinkly-ass skin
And that butt-butt-butt-butt-butt-buttchin
Here we go now

Where's your rhythm? I thought you had the Time Stone
Your punchlines sound like they came from Rhymezone
You might be something in the Mcu
But between us, who's the worst Mc? You!

Your dialogue's got too many breaks in the syllables
You talk so slow, Drax thinks you're invisible
I cause chain reactions when I'm lyrical
'Cause I got that fissile material

You were born to Eternals, but came out looking so scary
That your own mother tried to make you a temporary
Meanwhile, I've mastered the atom, more than any man alive
Now I'm here to split U like two and three from five

I'm a peaceful man, but I do what I must
You had an evil plan, Thanos, and it left you in the dust
It must leave you enraged when you compare our talents
Because in this battle, there is no balance

For a communist pariah, you come off as awfully cocky
But I'll make you bend the knee in round two like Nagasaki
I'm the box office topper, the Marvel showstopper
Got my name on this win like it's the Thanoscopter
You just got no answer for Fortnite's dopest dancer
I will Loki choke you out like my name was Throat Cancer

You wanna talk about Death?
How about the one that looked at you and swiped left?
I'm the destroyer of worlds
You got your nuts handed to you by a Squirrel Girl

We're in the endgame now, Tinky Winky
I'll finish this like Ant-Man, all up in your stinky
Anyone who believes that "Thanos did nothing wrong" crap
Has obviously never heard you rap, oh snap