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Ethel Cain - My Experiences With The Paranormal The Otherworldly And The Generally Bothersome Lyrics

Hello very much. My name is Hayden Anhedönia, and today I'm going to be talking about my paranormal experiences that I've had throughout my life.

I'm going to try and chronicle them chronologically, otherwise I will most likely go down many rabbit holes that I will not come back from. So, I will just start from when I was a baby, and move forward.

So, just to dive right in, the earliest paranormal experience, there are two formative paranormal experiences that I had as a child. One I remember it has it happenеd to me, the other, I rеmember being told to me, but I don't have a firsthand recollection of it. But the first recollection that I have of anything out of the ordinary, I wouldn't necessarily say paranormal but it was bizarre, was when we lived in the single-wide trailer that I grew up in or spent the first years of my life in. It was when I was the only child, this was before my sister Delilah was born. We lived in a single-wide trailer across the street from my uncle outside of town. And, my bedroom, if you've ever lived in a single-wide trailer, you know, usually the- there are two bedrooms on either end. My parents were on one side of the house, I was on the opposite side of the house.

And one night, I was lying in bed, and I distinctly remember thinking about VeggieTales and imagining a marble run sort of contraption, which was odd because I don't think that I'd ever been gifted a marble run yet in my- I was probably three years old? Two or three years old, and I remember lying in bed, awake, and hearing, and I was thinking about things, just daydreaming about whatever a child daydreams about, and I was picturing this marble rolling about on this... Contraption, in this space. And it was multicoloured. It was red, and yellow, and blue and green and it was rolling around, and I was watching the marble follow this path and I was situated in this space. In-In-between it in this empty space and I was twisting and watching the marble go around, and all of a sudden, I heard someone that was not me very distinctly say my name in my head. And it wasn't me imagining myself saying my name, as you would think a thought "audibly" in your head, it was as though someone else had stepped into my consciousness and very loudly and articulately said my name to me in my own head. It was very bizarre. It's about as best as I can describe it. But then I got up out of bed, I wasn't afraid, I didn't feel afraid or threatened, but I got out of bed and I walked through the house to the other end and I woke my mother up, and I said, "Did you call me?" Or, it was probably along the lines of, "Mama, why did you call me?" or whatnot and they were both- and both of my parents were asleep, so I just got in bed between them, and went back to bed. But that was one of the earliest memories I have of something bizarre happening. And I did that a lot, when bad things would happen in the nighttime, I would go get in bed with my parents and I would lie between them, and I've always had an affinity for thinking about things that are frightening or morose or whatnot, but I was always too scared to think about them, sleeping alone in my bed, and so I remember kind of, relegating these thoughts to only being able to think about them when I was sleeping with my parents in-between them, I felt like I was safe, 'cause I had both parents on either side of me and then I could think about those scary thoughts which is a bit of a rabbit hole, but I just distinctly remember feeling that way growing up.

The second thing that happened at the trailer- the first trailer that we lived in was.. (Sniff) I'm sorry, I'm a bit sniffly today. One night- so, my daddy was a truck driver when I was little before he started working in the plant that he drove for, so when I was very little, he was a truck driver. And he would make his routes, you know, in a semi, but as I started to get a little bit older, he wanted to be closer to me, and home with his family now that he had a child, so he started working in the plant of the company that he drove for. But when I was really little, and he was driving around, one night, he was coming back late from a route, and he didn't get in until about two or three in the morning, and my mom was waiting for him on the front porch and just set out there on the front porch, she'd put me to bed, I was asleep, and my dad got home, and they went to go inside and the door was locked and they couldn't get the front door open, and they ran around to to the back door, and the back door was locked, so they ran back to the front door, couldn't get in the house for about five to ten minutes and then suddenly the door just unlocked and they went in and they went straight to my bedroom to check on me and I was awake. I was sitting up in my bed, I had just woken up and they asked me if I was okay, and all I asked them was who was that man that was at the foot of my bed, and they said, "What do you mean?" and I said that there was a- a dark figure of a man sat on the foot of my bed, and my mom always told me, growing up, that that was my guardian angel sat on the foot of my bed watching over me. So I always used to tell that story to people very fondly growing up, and I would always say that I had a guardian angel that was watching over me. That was that house.

The second house we moved into was across town on my daddy's cousin's property, and we put a double-wide on that property, and the very strange thing is, I have a lot of memories. I have a lot. I remember everything. I have vivid memories from whenever I was a little bitty baby from the single-wide that we first lived in, when I was two, three years old, I had vivid memories. I remember everything about my life. I do not have any memories from this double-wide, which is very strange to me. I have a couple memories, very very tiny ones, and that's it. But other than that, I have no memories. Nowhere near as many memories of the single wide that we lived in before. So I don't know what that is about, but the only memory I have of that house was one night, my mom made tuna fish patties, and my daddy will eat anything that my mama cooks, but he does not like tuna fish patties. And I remember, she put them on the table, and my daddy was on one end of the table, and I was on the other end, we were staring at each other and we both just kind of looked at each other like, (Laugh) I don't wanna eat this. I remember one night, Daddy was going to Mimi and Pop's house and he was asking if I wanted to go, 'cause he had to go pick something up, and I said, "I have to put my shoes on," he said, "Well, hurry up and tie your shoes, or I'm gonna leave without you." And I was trying to tie my shoes but he wound up leaving 'cause I didn't tie my shoes fast enough, and I remember sitting on the front step to the, the little front porch and I remember crying, because I wanted to go to Mimi and Pop's house with him but he left without me, um, and that was one of his little, "tough love, teach me how to tie my my shoes faster" moments. Um, and then, the third memory that I have from this house was we'd gone to Wild Adventures up in Valdosta, which was the nearest theme park that we would go to. And I bought this terrifying little monster thing that was on like, a bungee cord, and you would bounce it, and when you would bounce it it would bounce back up and hit your hand, and then it would make this noise and it would laugh at you, but it looked terrifying. And I remember one night, laying in bed again, across the end of the house from my parents, I remember looking at it up in the top shelf of my closet, through the closet door, (sniff) and being terrified of it. And I could not sleep, because it was just staring at me. [Pause] And... I don't really remember anything beyond that supernatural happening in that house, but my mother told me that she always hated that house because it felt very supernatural. It felt very dark in there. And she does not speak of that house fondly. So, after my sister was born, we moved back into the single-wide for a little bit, I don't remember really anything happenin' when we moved back in, besides, it was infested with roaches when we moved back in the second time. And I remember eating a pack of Oreos from the gas station while my mama was going through all the cabinets and roaches were just flying out at her, (Giggle) and it was really scary. Uh, but I don't remember having anything weird happen after we moved back in. Then we lived with my Mimi and Pop for a minute when I was about six. We lived with them for about a year, which, living in a tiny.. It was a three-bedroom trailer. I don't know if it was a double-wide- I don't know what their house is, if it's a double-wide or a single-wide. I think- I think that it might be a double-wide. But... six people living in a three-bedroom trailer was a bit crowded.

But eventually, my parents wound up buying the house that I grew up in, like, really grew up in, spent most of my life in. Um, back across town, right over by where our single-wide was, we lived like, on the city limit. Our single-wide had been past the city limit. We lived right in the city limits. And that house, is where stuff really started to happen. One of the first things that I remember about this house which isn't supernatural, but I remember there was a little shed in the backyard, and it was completely falling apart. It was one of those old tin sheds that you see in Florida, and there were pallets and pallets of wood and cardboard in it, and it was all waterlogged, as is everything in Florida. And I remember all of our cousins came over and my uncles and my aunts and all them, and we got two-by-fours, and we would take turns standing over and lifting up the pallets, and like, the layers of the cardboard and the wood, and these giant palmetto bugs would come flying out, and we would whack them with the two-by-fours like we were playing baseball, but it was these giant ass roaches. Um, and that was one of the first memories i have of living in the house, which is really funny. Uh, but.. anyways, back to the paranormal aspects. My.. my mama always told me, growing up, that I somehow created a chaos spirit, those are the words that she used because of how angry I was as a teenager. And.. she always attributed the things that I told her to being... the chaos spirit. Now, this chaos spirit, or whatever you wanna call it, seemed to live... as I experienced it, either in my closet, or in the attic above my room. We didn't really have an attic, houses don't really have attics in Florida. It's too hot, but there was a crawlspace above the house. It would store Christmas decorations and whatnot up there. And when I reached about high school, maybe my, 8th, 9th Grade year, I started to experience strange things. Nothing insanely crazy, but there would come a period where it- it all started with knocking. I would hear, in the middle of the night, it would either come from the wall next to my bed which I shared with the living room, or the wall at the foot of my bed, which was outside. And I would hear this. (Three knocks) Three knocks in equal succession. Wait about ten minutes, hear it again. (Three knocks) One, two, three. It was like that every time. It was never random, it was always one, two, three. I'd hear three knocks, ten minutes would go by, hear another three knocks, happen a couple times, happen probably once a week, and I was always awake at that hour, because I was always awake reading, I, I would stay up 'til, three, four in the morning, reading every single night. And I would be wide awake, and I would just hear this. It would come from the wall next to me or the wall outside. Then we started- I started to hear a repeated.. noise in the crawlspace above the house. I would hear it- Sound like footsteps? Which you can't even really stand up there, it's just beams. You- There's no space to really.. stand up there, and you can only get into it from the attic. There's a.. there was this space in the hallway that was like one of those little things that you push up, and then you can get up into the crawlspace. And I would hear (Hayden knocking on the table) like footsteps, and then the footsteps would stop. And then right over the bedroom, I would hear a loud thud, like something heavy had fallen over. And then I would hear a dragging noise, like something really heavy was being dragged across the ground. And it would be that every time, step, step, step, step, step, thud, dragging. It's very weird. Nobody believed me until my senior year of high school when I was commuting to the community college a town over, I was sleeping in the laundry room at the back of the house, because there were six of us and we, I grew up in a three-bedroom household so, we kind of shuffled around a lot. Um, you know, we have twins who are nine years younger than me, and so sometimes, they would sleep on a trundle bed in each of our rooms so Delilah and I would both have a twin. Some nights, you know, sometimes, I would sleep elsewhere, and Delilah would take a room, and then the kids would share a room, and then the final year of high school, I.. all the bedrooms were at the back at the one side of the house together, and I didn't wanna be near them, so I just slept on a mattress in the laundry room, my last year of highschool, and, um, my little brother took a room, and then Delilah and my other sister shared a room. And so while I was back there at the back room one night, I was up on my computer, probably doing homework or whatnot, and them I heard footsteps over the back room which is on the other end of the house. And then also, I'm sorry- the twins were sharing a room, and Delilah was living in my old bedroom at the time. So, ten minutes go by from me hearing the footsteps, and all of a sudden I hear Delilah running through the house, she busts open the backroom door, and she's screaming, she said, "I heard it, I heard it, it sounded like footsteps over my bed and then a really loud crashing noise and a dragging." And I said, "I know, I told you."

I don't have too many memories from before that, there was a.. there is a weird chunk of my childhood from when we first moved into that house for a couple, well, maybe a couple years after we moved in, up until about thirteen, fourteen, I kind of blacked out, I don't know why, I just don't really remember those years very well. But I do remember at one point before the twins were born, when we were living there, 'cause we had about three years in that house before the twins were born, and the bedroom that I had for most of my time there had this ugly shag carpet. Well, I thought it was cute, but it was the colour of Sulley from Monsters, Inc. And my parents hated it, so they ripped it up, and they're repaintin' and redoing my bedroom, and so while they were doing that, I was sleeping in Delilah's room. And her bed was up against one wall, and then across the room, I had a big, uh, multi-level kind of bunk bed with a desk underneath and then the bunk bed up top, but Delilah and I would always sleep together in her bed because we would lay there and tell stories and play games or whatever and then pass out in her bed. But one night, she had fallen asleep, and I hallucinated a lot as a kid, and maybe it's not actually called hallucinating, but I would just stare at a shadow until it would start moving and I would convince myself that it was looking at me. But one night, I was staring at a shadow in the corner of the room, and it looked like a gorilla. It looked like a gorilla, and it was moving back and forth like this. It was rocking backwards and forwards, and then it slowly started into an old man in a wheelchair, and he was rocking back and forth just like this. I could see it moving. The shadow was moving. It was very odd. And I got scared, and I couldn't go to sleep because I was petrified. But I didn't wanna look at it anymore so I put the blanket up over my head, and I, I took the blanket, and I held it up over my head like this, and I have my elbows up, so I was creating this pocket of air from holding the blanket up over my head. And I was too scared to move, too scared to grab my flashlight, too scared to wake up Delilah, I was too scared to do anything because I thought it would come at me. And I sat there, for probably about, ten minutes, holding the blanket up. And then all of a sudden, something smacked the blanket, smacked it, full force, all the air rushed out, it came, it's like someone just hit the blanket and I sat up screaming immediately calling for my daddy. My mom came in, 'cause her bedroom was right next door, my daddy had already gone to work, apparently it was that late in the night 'cause he got up around 4 or 5 to go to work. And my mom was like, "What the fuck is going on?" so she just took Delilah and I into her bedroom and we fell asleep in her bed. And I remember lying in bed and she had- it was fall time? It was like, October, November, and she had these little bitty craft witches from Hobby Lobby on her curtain rod, like, on the wall, at the foot of the bed. And I remember staring at those, and they looked like they were dancing back and forth like this. And I remember watching them move like that as I fell asleep, so that was really scary. Um, also while I was in high school, I would hang my book bag with my textbooks in my Hunger Games tote bag that I had gotten from Walmart, and this was a heavy book bag that had like, two, three textbooks in it. And if I put it on my, on my closet door on the door knob, it would swing back and forth in the middle of the night, usually between two to four a.m. was when I would notice it, but it would just start swinging full force, back and forth on my door knob which I always found very strange. Uh, one time, I locked my cat in my closet on accident, I didn't realise she was in there, and when I came back an hour later, she'd been scratching on the inside of the door, and I heard her scratching, so I opened that door to let her out, and I was like, "How did you get in there?" And then for a couple months after that, I would hear scratching on the inside of my closet, but she wouldn't be in there, (Sniff) so I always thought that was very strange. Uh, okay. That's everything that I personally witnessed.

My siblings experienced something else, once I'd moved out. Mostly Delilah, but we all saw it at one point. (Sniff) Our dad had built us a big playhouse in the backyard, he was just... a crafty man with wood, he was crafty, he was a carpenter. In his free time, he was just real good at woodworking, and he built us a two-storey playhouse in the backyard. There was a sandbox on the first level, and then like, a little room upstairs with like, a window that faced the house. My sister and I would spend most of our time on the swing-set in the backyard. It's an old swing-set that had come from my Mimi and Pop's house when I was a kid, and we would sit on the swing-set and listen to music, daydream, whatever, you know, when we were kids. When I moved out, she would sit out there, alone at night, and she said that she started to see this thing in the playhouse. And she described it (Sniff) as looking like a long, slender monkey... thing.. monkey creature, but it was long and lithe and white, it was bright. It was like a bright, off-white colour to where you could really see it, plain as day, even at night when she would see it out there. And she said she would go outside and swing on the swing-set and look over, and it would be watching her, it'd be hanging upside down from the rafters of the roof in the little room up top in the playhouse. And she said what freaked her out about it was it had a perfectly ovular face, like, a mask. And it just had two eyes and a mouth, that was it. And it would stare right at her. She said she saw it multiple times a week, and I never really believed her, I never really believed her and then you know, the younger kids who, again, are like, a decade younger than me, they would chime in, oh, they saw it, they saw it. But every time I would come home to visit, they would always talk about it, how they saw it last night, how they saw it last week, they saw it a whole bunch, and they would tell my parents about it, my parents would be like, oh, there they go again. And... I never saw it for the longest time until one night, I had a dream that... I got up to get water one night 'cause when I would go home to visit my parents, I would just sleep on the couch, 'cause you know, by then, you know the other three kids had taken over the bedrooms, and so I would sleep on the couch, and in our dining room there was the back porch door and it was one of those doors that had the nine panes of glass so you could see through the panes of glass outside, and there was no curtain. So I walked into the kitchen, in my dream, I walked into the kitchen one night to get a glass of water, and I looked over in- through the dark and in one of the panes of glass this thing's face was just full in the pane. Like, in that bottom left pane, its face took up the whole pane. And it was just looking at me like this. And it scared me so bad, I woke up. I just- I woke up. Immediately. It scared me real bad, and I was like, oh my God, i need to stop listening to them telling me stories about this shit 'cause it's fucking scaring the shit out of me, dreaming about it, it's freaking me out, it's making me not even wanna come spend the night over here. Until, probably a year later, I'm a home visitant, they've still been talkin' about seeing it, it's probably seven or eight p.m., the sun's gone down, I walk outside to get my cat that lives at my parents' house, 'cause she'd been- she- they would, the cats would jump up on that door and like, poke their little head through the pane of glass, uh, to let you know that they were there, so I saw my cat, little face peekin' through the pane of glass and so I went over to the door to open it to get my cat, and I picked her up and I stepped out onto the back step and I was just lookin' around, lookin' around, looking around the backyard, it was already pitch black, dark outside, daddy was in the kitchen, he was cooking, he was making dinner, I don't know where the rest- of everybody was, but daddy was in the kitchen, [Pause] and I look over at the fort, at the window, and it was just there. It was just... there. Its face was in the window, and it was looking direct- like, when I looked over and noticed it, it was looking dead at me. And it was this ovular, white mask of a face and it was staring right at me. And it looked like it was smiling. I know that sounds crazy, but it looked like it was smiling at me. I screamed, immediately. I screamed for my dad to come over, he was not even ten feet away from me in the kitchen. I screamed, I was crying. I'm very afraid of things like that, maybe just because of my experience with them, I'm not even so much scared of other human beings or this or that. I'm scared of like, things that aren't real because they terrify me, because I don't understand them, and I'm very frightened by them. I- I'm, I'm talking, I was kind of hysterical for a second. I was like, daddy, there was something up there, I saw it, I'm scared, like it was looking at me. Next time I came to visit, that thing was torn down. He had torn the whole thing down. The playhouse was gone. So, I don't know. I don't know what it was, I couldn't tell you, I always thought the kids were making it up, that one time that I saw it, it really bothered me, (Sniff) um, I don't know, it was weird.

So, that's everything regarding the house that I grew up in, for the most part. I may have missed some small things, I don't know, but that was, that's the big stuff that I remember, like that's what I usually tell people when they ask about my paranormal experiences growing up. Um, as like, a little addendum to that era of my childhood, I will say, my mom had our house, I found out as an adult, that my mom and- had our house blessed three times, and we don't even really do that as Protestants, that's.. I feel like that's more of a Catholic thing, having your house blessed, but my mom called the preacher from the church to come pray over our house, three separate times 'cause she said our house gave her bad, bad, bad, bad vibes. My mom is very susceptible, susceptible to things like that, she always has been. My mom has like, dreams about people before they die. My mom just knows stuff, it's weird. We always told her she was a witch growing up, which she did not like because she thinks witches are evil and she's a Christian. But we always told her she was a witch growing up 'cause she just knows stuff. It's weird, she just has, just like, I don't even know. (Sniff) Our house was haunted, everybody knew it, everybody felt it, her house growing up was haunted. The house that they moved to when they moved to Perry, their house out, outside of town, out in the fucking boonies, their house was haunted. I'm not going to talk too much about their house, that's not my story to tell, but I will say the one thing, and this pertains to me because it didn't happen to me, Pop and Mimi, they slept in separate bedrooms, you know, just 'cause I get that's the secret to a long, happy marriage, I do believe is having separate bedrooms when you're married, after my mom and her sister moved out, graduated, whatever, Mimi and Pop, as long as I've been alive, slept in separate bedrooms. And they've both told me on multiple occasions that sometimes when they're lying in bed, somebody will come and sit on their bed and they will feel the mattress depress and move as though someone is sitting on the bed when they're alone in the room. And they've always told me they're not too scared of it, it never feels like a harmful presence or a menacing thing, but it does happen regularly. My mama doesn't like to go over there 'cause she's afraid of that house 'cause it's haunted, so I don't know. As for my daddy's house, my daddy's parents house, Granny and Papa, after Papa died, some lights flickered, we always said that Papa was, you know, messing with us, even in death, but I didn't spend as much time over there as I did at Mimi and Pop's house so I don't really have any stories of that house, but that's pretty much it for my childhood. I don't really remember too much else happenin' outside of where I lived, you know, we spent a lot of time in the woods growing up in the middle of the night, that was scary, but none of that was really paranormal, it's just being in the woods at night, so that's kind of it for my childhood.

Then, we get to my adulthood. First house was okay, first apartment, the very first apartment I moved into after I moved out, that I lived in, nothing really crazy there happened, uh, except for that one time I was butt ass naked in the shower, and I shower in the dark, I just like to shower in the dark, it started one time 'cause a big ol' hurricane came through and knocked all the power out and I had to shower in the dark, and I realised I really liked it, so I've always showered in the dark ever since then. I just love to shower with the lights off. One night, in my very first apartment I was showerin' and an Amber Alert went off in the dead silent, pitch black bathroom, and I about lost my fuckin' mind. I ran out of the bathroom butt ass naked like, it was so funny. But uh, anyways, nothing paranormal happened in that apartment.

Second house was fucked up. Second house was weird as all hell. Now, I was on a lot of drugs, specifically in 2017, 2018, so this is probably... just the drugs, at the time of these occurrences, I was not taking drugs actively, like, that day, (Sniff) but maybe my brain was fried, I don't know, so maybe this is just more of a drug induced hallucination as opposed to paranormal. One night, I was listening to music, hanging out with my best friend that we lived together, we were roommates, and she.. my, my bedroom is at the back of the house, at the back of the hallway, and she went to the kitchen and make herself a sandwich 'cause she was hungry, and I was sat at my bed, and the door was wide open to the pitch black hallway. And in the doorway, I watched a form of a man materialise as though it was being built out of sand. Like, I know that sounds fuckin' insane, but it's like, it's almost as somebody had built a sand castle of a, like, life-sized sand castle of a man and then it fell apart. It was as if you were watching it fall apart in reverse, like sand was just coming up and building this figure of a man, and I just remember sat on the bed, and I was like, (Hayden makes a shocked expression) like, I was just watching it happen, it was crazy, I didn't move, I didn't say anything, I didn't know what to do, and I was like, what the fuck is going on? And then it just, plop, fell back apart immediately, and then my best friend just walked back in, and I was like, dude. So I don't know what that was about, that was about the only weird thing that happened in that house that I remember, although there were multiple nights where she would be working late, and I would tweak. Because I'm very paranoid about stuff all the time, so paranoid. Like it is, I'm very f- easily spooked, and I think she was like, at her parents or working late, she was not at the house that night, and multiple times, I would just get this awful, awful feeing like something was in the hallway on the other side of my bedroom door, and I would get so scared, I would psych myself up so bad and I would get so scared, I would take my keys, I didn't even want to put my feet on the floor because I was afraid. And.. I would crawl out my bedroom window and run to my truck in the driveway and drive to Waffle House and I would just sleep in my truck in the Waffle House parking lot 'til the sun came up 'cause I was so scared. I did all the time because I'm a Fraidy Cat. One thing that I thought was hauntin' in that house was there was a sound of something moving and crun- like, crinkling plastic, it sounds like, or paper, somewhere in my room next to my closet, and I couldn't figure out where it was coming from until about six months into that lease, I discovered there was a possum coming up from under the floorboards and it was eating pecans in my closet, and I thought it was a ghost, which is really funny for the longest time, but yeah, that was something I thought was paranormal in that house, but it was not. So, that was the second house.

Third house was fine, that was when I lived on that car lot, and nothing too bad happened at the car lot house, I don't remember.. I don't think anything happened there, that was a cool- that was a cool house. I like that house.
Fourth house that I lived in.. in Tallahassee was... a duplex, and the girl in the duplex next to us, she worked at like, a weed store. She told us the two guys who lived there before us were like, crack dealers, and it was a trap house or something, they were selling fucking crack, selling crack, smoking crack, I don't remember, there was crap going on in there. There were like holes in the floor, it was a nasty duplex but I loved it. It was fun. That was the last place I ever lived in Tallahassee before I moved back and... Salem and I lived there together and before Salem moved in, 'cause she moved in like, a week and a half after I did, and I would ask my friends to come stay with us because... you know, I was just scared. I just got bad vibes, bad vibes. Upstairs was... Salem's bedroom, you could only get up there through one really narrow staircase, (Sniff) and then there was a bedroom and a bathroom and a closet and one, one single tiny little window, and... I would hear thumping ip there, before she moved in, and I remember being terrified thinking, what the hell is going in up there? Throughout the time we lived there, I would always get these really bad vibes and see what I thought was a shadow of a woman standing in the corner of the living room, but nothing ever too crazy happened in there. I just always had a strange vibe, except for the fact that all the cabinets in the kitchen would open randomly. They would just open, and we always blamed Salem's partner and... 'cause I knew I didn't do it, and she didn't do it, so we were like, oh, it must be you know, our third roommate that kept leaving them open, until her and her partner moved out and I had another week there, or I had another couple weeks there before I moved up to Indiana, but I wound up moving in with my best friends and staying with them the whole time because I could not be there alone because one night we were having a sleepover after everybody was gone, and we were hearing thumping coming from the attic bedroom, even though all the doors were locked, but it was very distinct footsteps. And so we went up there- we took my gun up there, we went up there with a gun, we were looking around, there was nobody up there, there was nothing. We go back downstairs, go back into my bedroom, hear thumping again, leave my bedroom 'cause my bedroom opened up to the kitchen, I left my bedroom, walked into the kitchen, every single cabinet door wide open. Every single one of them was wide open. And we had just gone in my room not five minutes before, and they were all closed. So I said, "You know what, fuck this." I called my friends, I said, "Listen, I gotta- I gotta come over." I went over to my friend's house, I, I lived with him for three weeks before we moved out 'cause I was like, I can't do this. The church was fine, nothing weird ever happened in the church until the week we were moving out. We saw... the-the ceilings in the church were really high, about fifteen, twenty feet, like they were very, very high ceilings. The week that we moved out, I walked into the hallway one day and I noticed that there were handprints and footprints, black, like, sooty. Handprints and footprints going up the wall to the ceiling to where the attic entrance was, way, way, way high, twenty feet up, and there were handprints and feet prints like, going up the wall, up to the attic entrance, and I said, "Okay, I can't do this." That was the only thing for that house- oh, this didn't take place in a house, but, while I was living at the church, I had this one experience, we were trying to do a photoshoot, Dollie and I built, well- okay, I say Dollie and I, Dollie built this giant cross for a photoshoot that we were going to do, I wanted to do a sunrise photoshoot in the dead of winter where everything was dead and cold, and I was going to get up on this cross completely naked and I was going to do like, a crucifixion photoshoot at sunrise of me completely naked and cold on this cross. So she built this huge cross, we were planning the photoshoot for a couple months, we- we were driving around Indiana, just looking for fields that would look good for the- for the photoshoot. One of the fields that we went up to was across the street from this one farmhouse that was next to a pig farm and when we drove up, we could hear all the pigs out in.. th-the, out in like, the big.. barns or whatever you call 'em where they keep the pigs. We could hear the pigs squealin' and we drove up to the farmhouse, and there were no cars there, but the front door was open but the screen door was locked and so we couldn't get in the screen door and the... but the front door was open so we could see into the house, we were calling, we were like, "Hello, hello, is anybody here? We just want to ask a question if we can use your field." Whatever, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then we noticed, there's like, this pool of what looks like blood, red liquid and blood coming down the stairs of this farmhouse and pooling at the bottom of the staircase, and we were like, uh... okay. So we just left, we just.. we took off. We said, we're not even trying to get into all that, so we wound up finding this other, f- um, wound up finding this other hill about thirty minutes south of where I lived, it was by Connersville, it's called Elephant Hill, um, I wasn't with Dollie that particular day when she asked the farmer if... we could use the field, but she said he said it was okay, he just said, "Leave the field like you found it, don't disturb anything out there," we said okay. So another one of my friends had come into town 'cause we were going to do a photoshoot before we took off for a road trip back down to Florida for Thanksgiving, so my friend from Florida had flown up and was gonna ride down with us, and uh, she's a photographer, so she brought her camera, so the three of us were going out there that night before the photoshoot... and we were gonna go ahead and plant the cross, we were gonna go and dig the hole and bury it in the ground so that we could... get it ready. So we could just go to sleep, get up before sunrise, go out there so we didn't have to do all that work the next morning. We pull out there, we pull onto the field, we get out, we drag the... we drag the cross up to the top of the hill, Helen stays out there with her camera, Dollie and I walk back down to the truck, now, it's freezin'. It's like, fuckin' 21 degrees outside. We get back to the truck at the base of the hill, so, there's like, the hill, the slope, the truck, and then the road that goes next to- it's like this little bitty road that goes right next to it, we go up there, or we go down there to get the, the shovels out of the truck, we pull the shovels out, and Dollie, all of a sudden looks at me and goes, "Do you smell that?" And I was like, "Smell what?" And she said "It smells like death. Smells like blood and like, metal and death." And if you live where it's cold, or, I mean, if you have a nose, you basically know how hard it is to smell stuff when it's cold outside. But it was so pungent. The smell of death and metal, it was very weird, so we walked back up the hill and… Helen took a picture of us as we were coming back up the hill, like, right as we were gettin' to the top of the hill, and… I'm- I'm 'yall, not even thirty seconds, we start to dip. We barely even broke the fucking ground to put this cross in, and I look to my left, and so if I'm looking this way, the truck and the road and the hill is down that way. So I'm looking perpendicular, 90 degrees down the hill, and it's just field. It's just field that goes on forever in that direction, and I'm looking at it. And I look down the hill, and you know, when something's really dark and far away, you almost have to look… to the side of it to see it in your peripheral instead of looking directly at it? I saw what looked like a man. Like, a figure of a man… directly out that way, but I couldn't quite see it, so I had to look to the side of it and see it out of my peripheral. But I could tell that there was something out there, it looked like a man's head and a man's shoulders (Sniff), so I was like, "You guys, like, what is that?" It's probably, like, ten or eleven o'clock, so it didn't make sense for someone to be out there. Sorry- I saw something out of the corner of my eye, I'm freaking myself out tellin' the story. And, I kind of call out, I'm like, "Hello? Is anybody there?" And I'm shining on-our big flashlight, you know, like a big ol' like, a Maglite flashlight, but whatever it was, was just outside the beam of it. I'm telling 'yall, within about twenty seconds of first spotting it and having to look next to it to see it, I can see it full on. Like, it's getting closer. I can tell that it's coming closer. I can look directly at it and see it, but what was weird about it was, it wasn't bobbing up and down like a human does when they walk, like the natural kind of bob that a human does from walking, it's not moving, it's just gliding up this hill at us, and it's coming at us, fast. And it's tall. I can, like, it looks tall at the bottom of the hill. So I could tell that it was, whatever it was, was very tall. Very, very tall. Within twenty, thirty seconds, the two of them can see it. And I was like, "'Yall, what the fuck is that. What the fuck is that." I- I, I literally said, we're leaving. I said we got to go, I- we all threw our shit on the floor, on the ground, we just ran. So, it's coming at us this way. We have to run this way, towards the truck. So we take off down the hill, halfway down the hill I turn, now I see it coming at us diagonally. It's coming at us around the curve of the hill. It's comin', like, it's changed. It's coming diagonally at us. So we book it to the truck. Um, my truck doesn't have a key fob, so I had to put the keys in and I'm like, messing with the door, and I get it open, lock it, lean over, unlock their door, they get in, we take off. We just leave. When we get home, we- we drive around for two hours 'cause we were like, almost too scared to even go home, I- I don't even know, we were just kind of shocked. We drove around talking about it, we get home a little after midnight, Helen, my friend, pulls up her, well- Dollie and I, we were all talking about it, we're telling my roommates, we're like, there's six of us in the living room talking about it, while we're talking about it, Helen's going through her pictures from that day on our SD card from her camera, she pulls up the picture she took of us when we were walking back up the hill, from the truck with the shovels, and we zoom in, and she's like, "'Yall, you're not gonna believe this." Right behind us, just a little bit further down the hill, right behind us, two glowing eyes in the picture. And I have the picture, I'll put it in here. Um, t-just, I don't even know. We don't have an explanation for it, the next morning, Dollie and I drove back out there right after the sun rose 'cause we were not going back out there in the dark, we waited for the sun to come up, we got the cross, got the shovels. When we pulled up there, right there on the hill where we saw the eyes in the photo, where we smelled that death smell, there were two perfectly eviscerated deer legs. There's no deer carcass, but there were two deer legs, completely drained of blood. Not that there's a lot of blood in deer legs, but it was not bloody at all, and they looked like they've been cut clean off, and they were just lying there, on the ground, on the dead corn. And we so we picked up the legs and threw them in the back of the truck and I was just like, what the fuck. And those deer legs sat in the back of my truck for years. Uh, but yeah. I don't know, it was weird. It was a very weird experience. I felt as though maybe it was God telling me that maybe I should not be attempting to commit the blasphemy of a crucifixion photoshoot, I don't know, I told all of my friends, I said, "'Yall, maybe we need to start acting right and not.. behaving the way that we behave while living in a church because I think God's trying to tell us something." Like, it was really funny. I went full freak-out. I don't think anything else too really.. spooky happened. My leg is bleeding, sorry. Too particularly spooky happened while we were living at the church, I don't really remember anything else happening, uh, other than, you know, the general kind of ookum spookums of living in the midwest.

But, then, we moved to Alabama. Delilah and I. This was probably the most.. aggravated… occurrence of paranormal activity I've ever experienced, or maybe paranormal, whatever weird shit. The week that we moved in, my parents helped us move in, 'cause it was close, to my, you know, hometown, it was like, two or three hours away, so my parents came up to help us move in and they stayed in the back bedroom that was- First my studio, when we first moved in, and then became Salem's bedroom whenever Salem moved in halfway through the lease. The first week we moved in, my parents told me after like, the day that they were leave, my mama just kind of came up to me, and she was like, "I just want to let you know, your daddy and I had a horrible feeling living in that room, just a terrible feeling. I just felt bad. I don't- I don't know how to explain it, but it felt bad." And I was like, "Okay, great. Thanks for letting me know that." This was the first week. This was like, the third day that we were living there within the first month. I- I need to explain, I lived in the middle of nowhere. I lived outside of an army base that was outside of a small town. This army base probably had about a thousand people. We lived further out in the woods, on a little county road from this army base in Alabama on a curve, no neighbours, no street lights, it was pitch black out there all the time. We lived like in the fucking Courage the Cowardly Dog house. The nearest people were down the road, across the road, but you couldn't see them from the front yard, and then my landlady lived in her house down a pathway through the woods on the other side of the woods from our house. But when you were in our yard and our house, like, there was nobody around. So, we were- we were out there. So, the first month, I had a dream that I was putting away laundry in my closet, in my bedroom, which is a- my bedroom and my studio were at the very end of the hallway. There was a door on the left, and that was my studio. There was a door on the right, and that was mh bedroom. I was putting away laundry in my dream, the first month that we lived there, I was putting away laundry, and I felt a presence on the other side of the door. And this was like, it was broad daylight in the dream, I think I was home alone, my door was cracked, but I could feel a presence on the other side of my door in the hallway. So I carefully shut the door, and I sat down, and I kind of looked under the door, and I saw feet. And they were just feet on the floor, under the door. And that bothered me. I had sleep paralysis for the first time in my life, ever. My sister gets real bad sleep paralysis, I do not, I've never had it before, except for that one time, about halfway through living there, this was right before Salem moved in, I… was asleep in my studio, 'cause I had a spare bedroom in there, or a spare bed. I was asleep in the spare bed, in my.. in my studio. I've been working late, and… I felt a presence in the doorway. And I could feel, even though I was rolled over facing the wall, I could feel someone was behind me, standing and I could kind of see them, almost, from like, an omnipotent viewpoint in my dream, I could tell that they were behind me and I was awake. But I could tell that someone was standing behind me, and I was home alone. And I had to kick my leg up over myself… to wake myself up, out of the dream, or whatever, the sleep paralysis, and then the figure was gone. But like, I felt the presence of someone in the room behind me. (Sniff) The last month that we lived there, right before we moved, my sister had already moved out, it was just me and Salem, we were back there in her bedroom which had been my studio. I'd been awake having a panic attack, this was the day before I went to Denver, I was supposed to fly to Denver and play that show with Florence, and… my house got broken into, I was sat on the bed, now, listen, the house that I lived in Alabama was old. And all the doorknobs did not click, they did not lock, they didn't even latch. They just didn't do anything, like, you just had to push the door closed and you could just push it back open. It didn't latch, it didn't lock, it didn't do any of that. So, I'm sat there in the bed up against the wall, the door is right there, it's like, three o'clock in the morning, Salem's on her phone, we're watching TV, I'm just trying to come down from a panic attack. And all of a sudden, I see out of the corner of my eye, two feet walk in front of the door, I could- I saw them walk, turn and stop right in front of the door. It's the middle of the night, it's just the two of us, I'm terrified. I'm sat there, for a second, like, in my head, I'm thinking at any second, that door is going to go flying open, someone's just going to push it flying up and we're about to get murdered. I sat there for ten seconds, not knowing what to do until I just whispered, I said, "Salem, get your machete." Because she had a machete on the wall. And she said, "What?" and I said, "Get your machete." And when I said it the second time, I said it a bit louder, and then as I said it, I watched the feet disappear quickly back down the hallway under the door, and we got up, and I said, "Salem, there's someone in the house." And we pushed this giant trunk of photos up against the door to barricade it, and I called the police, I said, "Someone's in my house. I need you to come out here." Ten, fifteen minutes later, the police showed up, they call me, I said, "No, you need to drive around in the yard to the back of the house up to my window, I want to see you through the window, I'm scared." I'm like, hysterically crying, you know, home invasion is one of my biggest fears so to have it happen was just like, really overwhelming. He was like, "Well, I need you to go to the kitchen and let me in." So we had to walk all the way through the house with a fucking weapon to open the door for him to come in, he came in, he did his rounds around the house, we go into the dining room, the window was open. Just wide open. The window, the screen was just wide open. And so we went to Waffle House as I do when I get scared, we drove to Waffle House, slept in the parking lot 'til the sun came up, you know, I had a three-hour drive to the airport in Birmingham, um, and I called my manager, and I said listen, I called Marley and told her, I was like, "You're gonna have to book me a later flight because I am exhausted and my house got broken into," so I just took a little nap, catched a- or caught a later flight, uh, later that day, and went and played the show with Florence in Denver, the biggest most amazing show of my life at that point, which is really funny, but um, yeah, that house was a nightmare. I remember one night before Salem moved in, Delilah and I, we were in the kitchen cooking, and the kitchen was like, a- angle, so I'm faced here at the stove, she's faced this way next to me, our shoulders are touching, she's at the sink, I'm at the stove, and I'm cooking. We're right next to each other and out of the corner of my eye I see what looks like a- a white hand in a long, bright orange long sleeve shirt do like, this. Over her head, like do, like a big circle around her head out of the corner- like, I saw it plain as day. Just like, right there, out of the corner of my eye, it's like 7 p.m. We're just cooking dinner, and at the exact same time, I saw that happen. She did like that, and was like, "What the fuck was that?" She was like, "Did you just hit me?" I said, no, "I didn't hit you, I, but- something just moved its hand over your head." Like, I saw a whole five finger hand in a long sleeve orange shirt do that to her, and she was like, "What the fuck?" Just weird shit would happen all the time like that. You know, would just- we just always had very bad, very spooky vibes in that house. Um, but yeah, I- I don't, I don't know, that, that was kind of the last house that I lived in, that was like that. Both my houses in Pittsburgh, my house and then my apartment, they were both pretty chill. They were spooky because of the type of house that they were, but they were fine, you know nothing ever really happened to them.
[Video cuts to Hayden under a blanket] So, I forgot to add in that video, but the reason that I brought up the people and figures sitting on my grandparents bed at their house is because I lied, one time while I was living at the Pittsburgh house, the first house, the same thing happened to me while I was getting ready to go to sleep one night, I had just washed my face and I was getting- I was lying in bed and getting ready to go to sleep, and I was on my computer watching a youtube video, and right next to me, on that corner, on the edge of my bed, I felt someone sit down, and the mattress depressed and I kind of rolled over to the side because of how far down the mattress had been pushed which I thought was very disturbing, and I didn't really feel in danger, I didn't really feel afraid, but I immediately thought of my grandparents when it happened because I'd heard so many stories about that happening to them at their house and so it was very strange that it was happening to me in Pittsburgh of all places where nothing else like that had ever happened. So, that was a little strange. But in a way, it made me feel connected to my grandparents which was pretty cool. But, yeah. I forgot to add that in my story so I had to.. I had to put that in there, so, shh, we'll get back to the real video.

And I haven't really encountered anything super paranormal since then, except for, I will say in this house that I just moved into, I was gone for a week on tour, Delilah told me that she just got a weird vibe from the house and she felt like, something bad was happening and she just got like, a creepy vibe, and the next fuckin' day, she's at work and I'm in my bedroom sitting on the edge of my bed, facing my bathroom. And I'm on my phone, and then I just kind of put my phone down and I look up and I'm just mindlessly staring into the bathroom at the towel rack in the sink, and all of a sudden, something in front of me, I'm staring directly at it, picks up the corner of the towel, lifts it up in the air, and then drops it back down. So the towel just floats up into the air, falls back down. And I remember thinking, okay, sure. Whatever. Um, nothing else has happened since in this house, but I don't know, it's funny. My mom is like, I said, very susceptible and very devout Christian, does not believe in that hokey pokey stuff, but she definitely is very cautious about the darkness and the devil, demons, spirits. There are some stories that she experienced when she was growing up that she won't even tell me about, she doesn't even want to tell me about it because she doesn't want to think about it. Um, to this day, I still don't even know, so, I don't know, seems like everybody in my family just.. is either fucking schizophrenic, or.. we got ghosts or something. I've had a couple friends that I've friends that I've met who are very spiritual and immediately upon meeting me, they say, "Oh, you've got something attached to you, you've got something on your shoulder, on your back, you've got something following you." and I've just kind of laughed and like, "Yeah, you have no idea." Um, I'm, I'm not extremely sup- superstitious, I don't attribute everything to ghosts and ghouls and spirits, I'm not a skeptic, but I'm not necessarily a… extremely willing believer, either all I know and can put faith in are my own experiences, whether physical or psychological, I am a very anxious person and I'm very skittish and easily frightened, but I also cannot deny the things that I've seen and heard, physical stimuli that have happened to me or around me, so I don't know. I don't really quite know how to explain away all the things that I've seen throughout my life and my varying degrees of my grip on reality which I'm convinced is deteriorating as I get older, but it is what it is.

But, yeah. Those are my most noteworthy experiences with the paranormal, the otherworldly, whatever you want to call it. That is life as I have experienced it, and those are the things that I've been through, and those are the things that haunt me, and I'm sure I have many more ahead of me, I'm only twenty-six, I'm sure there will be many, many more things to frighten me in this lifetime. But… yeah, thank you so much for listening to me ramble about my ghosts and ghouls, uh, I will make an update to this video in a couple years if anything crazy happens, but until then, that is… kind of all I can think about at the moment. So, again, thank you very much for watching, my name is Hayden Anhedönia and, it's been a pleasure. So, thank you very much. Until next time.