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Dan Deacon - World Of Hair Lyrics

Police Commisioner: Kaiser get in here right now!
Kaiser: Yes, police commissioner?
Police Commisioner: There's a knight hiding...
Kaiser: Like a knight in shining armor?
Police Commisioner: There's a knight hiding in my room.
Kaiser: Have you seen the knight?
Police Commisioner: No, but every now and again, I hear him scraping his blade agon the floor, cackling.
Kaiser: Well, if you haven't seen him, I don't understand how you know that it's a knight.
Police Commisioner: I can hear the clinking of metal as he scurries behind desk to cabinet.
Kaiser: I think that's probably just the pipes.
Police Commisioner: It's certainly n- I found a big fanciful feather that fell out of his cap.
Kaiser: A f- I don't- knights don't have feathers.
Police Commisioner: How could you deny that?
Kaiser: I, I-
Police Commisioner: Look at this feather.
Kaiser: Ok, police commissioner-
Police Commisioner: Imagine it adorned on top of a metal helmet, riding on an armored horse.
Kaiser: He-
Police Commisioner: Hiding in my office.
Kaiser: Tonight I'll pick up some-
Police Commisioner: I know you can hear us!
Kaiser: Tonight I'll pick up some-
Police Commisioner: I know you're out there!
Kaiser: I'll get some knight traps.

*bleep*

Police Commisioner: Kaiser get in here right now!
Kaiser: Yes, police commissioner.
Police Commisioner: I put a bird in this glue... Look at it. Look how pathetic it is.
Kaiser: This is just cruel, why are we doing this, police commisioner, this is-
Police Commisioner: You have nothing to do with it. Shut up.
Kaiser: *laughs* I don't- I- can I-
Police Commisioner: Get out.
Kaiser: I- thank you.
Police Commisioner: Turn off the lights!
Kaiser: I think I'm going to report you!
Police Commisioner: Turn the lights off!
Kaiser: I think I'm definitely reporting you to someone...
Police Commisioner: Get back here.
Kaiser: What? What
Police Commisioner: Get back here.
Kaiser: What? What? Just What?
Police Commisioner: Look how pathetic it is.
Kaiser: I don't wanna look at how pathetic it is. This is horrible. What a terrible thing.
Police Commisioner: *laughs*
Kaiser: And you're just laughing. I- I am going to my own office-
Police Commisioner: No, no, come here.
Kaiser: And I'm-
Police Commisioner: Shut up! Shut up!
Kaiser: Stop telling me to shut up.
Police Commisioner: Put your hand on the table and close your eyes.
Kaiser: No I am certainly not going to do that!
Police Commisioner: Come on.
Kaiser: No! Just, gluing a bird. I'm not doing this. No way.
Police Commisioner: Look at it.
Kaiser: I don't- no. No. No! Thank you.
Police Commisioner: He'll never fly again.
Kaiser: I say good-day!

*bleep*

Police Commisioner: Kaiser get in here right now!
Kaiser: Yes police commissioner.
Police Commisioner: This coat fit me properly?
Kaiser: Yea I think you look pretty good.
Police Commisioner: I can't figure out if its- pretty- can you- come on.
Kaiser: Yea I'll help. Here we go.
Police Commisioner: Mm mm.
Kaiser: There you are.
Police Commisioner: Ah.
Kaiser: How's that?
Police Commisioner: Ah, ah.
Kaiser: Okay. Alright.

*bleep*

Police Commisioner: Kaiser I want you in my office pronto!
Kaiser: Yes police commissioner.
Police Commisioner: Holy moley I got a funny joke for you.
Kaiser: Oh a joke, I could use a funny joke.
Police Commisioner: Alright
Kaiser: What is it?
Police Commisioner: Close your eyes and put your hand on my desk.
Kaiser: What are you gonna do?
Police Commisioner: Just do it.
Kaiser: I don't know if this is a good idea.
Police Commisioner: Close your eyes and put your hand on my desk.
Kaiser: I think this is a joke on me and I don't wanna-
Police Commisioner: Trust me, trust me
Kaiser: *moans*
Police Commisioner: You're alright, you're eyes closed tight?
Kaiser: Yea.
*bang*
Kaiser: You mother fucker! Why the fuck did you do that?
Police Commisioner: *laughs* I hit your hand with this hammer.
Kaiser: Yea why the f- that's not funny. Screw you police commissioner. Listen, listen, I resign.
Police Commisioner: No way
Kaiser: I- I'm gonna write a letter of resignation right now.
Police Commisioner: You're hired.

*bleep*

Police Commisioner: Kaiser get in here right now!
Kaiser: Yes police commissioner.
Police Commisioner: Look how big that is.
Kaiser: Yea that is big.
Police Commisioner: I can't believe how big that is.
Kaiser: That is really really big.
Police Commisioner: Wow.
Kaiser: I don't even know how they got it in here.
Police Commisioner: I don't even know what it is.
Kaiser: What are you gonna do with it.
Police Commisioner: I don't know. Maybe, um. How warm do you think it is?
Kaiser: I dunno. It looks pretty warm.
Police Commisioner: It looks pretty warm.
Kaiser: Yea.
Police Commisioner: Touch it with your- touch it with your skin.
Kaiser: What?
Police Commisioner: Touch it with your skin a little bit.
Kaiser: I- why don't you touch it with your skin?
Police Commisioner: I've- Ive been doing it for hours before you got in here. Wh- Touch it witch your skin.
Kaiser: Well what was it doing to your skin?
Police Commisioner: Nothing.
Kaiser: It was doing nothing to your skin?
Police Commisioner: Nothing at all. Touch it.
Kaiser: Are you lying to me police commissioner?
Police Commisioner: No, no
Kaiser: Why do you want me to touch it.
Police Commisioner: Touch it with your skin.
Kaiser: I don't think I'm gonna do that.
Police Commisioner: Touch it with some of your skin.
Kaiser: No listen, I gotta get to work. There's a lot of stuff that needs to be done. I'm not gonna touch that with my skin.
Police Commisioner: Bokork
Kaiser: Are you calling me chicken?
Police Commisioner: No. Call mommy.
Kaiser: Thank you.

*bleep*

Police Commisioner: Kaiser get in here right now.
Kaiser: What is it police commissioner?
Police Commisioner: My hands are turning into some sort of cream.
Kaiser: Your hands are turning into a cream?
Police Commisioner: Oh I can just tell.
Kaiser: Well did you eat anything?
Police Commisioner: When I woke up in the morning I saw huge cream.
Kaiser: Well maybe its not that your hands are turning into cream, maybe you just had some cream on your hands.
Police Commisioner: No you don't see.
Kaiser: You've used all the sea?
Police Commisioner: Yoouuu!

*long bleep*